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<p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 某心理学家说过：很多时候，沟而不通的原因通常是人们沟通的目的通常是为了让表达情绪，而非通。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 一位来访者说，他的父母都七十多岁了，仍然经常吵架，起因总是鸡毛蒜皮的小事，但最后必定会吵出两件事，一件是爸爸说妈妈的，爸爸谴责妈妈在20多岁的时候曾经想离开他跟另一个男人走，一件是妈妈说爸爸的，同样是谴责他在30来岁的时候曾喜欢上一个女邻居。每当一吵到这两件事，两位老人的愤怒就会达到顶峰，很快都会陷入暴怒。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 这两件“罪过”其实只是挡箭牌而已，这是在亲密关系发生冲突时常见的策略，当你因为一件小事对我表达不满时，我就将“你曾经背叛过”的挡箭牌竖起，这样你就无法因为这件小事而攻击了，我就将你射来的抱怨之箭挡了回去。但是，我有这样的挡箭牌，你也有，毕竟生活了一辈子，谁没有大一些的过错呢。于是，为了更好的进攻和还击，你也竖起了挡箭牌，两人于是一手持“你犯过重大错误，你是个罪人”的挡箭牌，一手持枪，打来打去热闹非凡。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 挡箭牌似乎可以保护自己，但它具有巨大的杀伤力，它不仅令夫妻吵架每一次都严重升级，更要命的是，它令夫妻关系变得不可沟通和交流。本来，任何一个小小的不满和任何一个小小的快乐一样，都是一次心与心相通的机会，不管是喜悦、欢乐、感恩，还是愤怒、怨气、嫉妒甚至仇恨，我将我的感受告诉你，你将你的感受传递给我，我们就这样建立起了链接。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 很多人可以在职场上做到对事不对人，但在亲密关系中就未必能做到这一点，事实上，我自己很少发现有人能很好地做到这一点。也许原因是，亲密关系是我们最在乎的，我们越是在乎，就越是怕承担责任，就越是希望分出个谁对说错来，而毫无疑问，每个人都希望自己是对的，而对方是罪人。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 所以，在亲密关系中，不去纠缠谁对说错。大家需要一个意识：谈事情A的时候，只谈事情A，而不去扯事情B、C和D等等。否则，事情B、C和D等很可能就是挡箭牌。并且，谈事情A的事情，重要的不是去分出个对与错来，重要的是自己和对方的感受，具体到你自己身上就是，你能否坦承地表达你的所有感受，你又能否聆听到对方表达出来的感受。</p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6px; widows: 1; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> 心理专家提示：就事论事，对事不对人，这不仅是职场上的重要原则，也是亲密关系中的重要原则。幸福婚姻来源于心灵的有效沟通，而非盲目的情感宣泄。很多夫妻经常吵架的原因就是过度的情绪宣泄，缺乏有效的心灵沟通。<br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 25.6000003814697px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(249, 249, 249);">广州市设备维修有限公司</span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">地址：广州市天河区银利街银利茶叶博览中心E栋4楼E4030室 邮编：510507</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">电话：(+86)020-8722 8723 8764 5360 8764 2943 传真：020-8722 8623</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">全国统一免费服务热线：400-020-6788</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">微信公众帐号：</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><img data-ratio="1" data-w="120" width="auto" xhe_src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/dx3KibwtDhvfCZvZq5PcthnDKlnnq3AalhbichW77J3B70osicTickklZybNKUZqc44DZ0oaWaHm2p0TaA9478icwPg/0?tp=webp&wxfrom=5" data-type="jpeg" width="auto" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/dx3KibwtDhvfCZvZq5PcthnDKlnnq3AalhbichW77J3B70osicTickklZybNKUZqc44DZ0oaWaHm2p0TaA9478icwPg/640?wx_fmt=jpeg" style="box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; width: auto !important; visibility: visible !important;" /></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">维修咨询：QQ: 712638 404</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">设备咨询: QQ: 712638 405</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">软件咨询：QQ: 712638 406</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">配件咨询：QQ: 712638 407</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">交流Q群：1106 11074</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">网址：http://www.yiliaoshebeiweixiu.com</span></p><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); font-size: 12px; line-height: 24px; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">电子邮箱：service@yiliaoshebeiweixiu.com</span></p><p><span style="max-width: 100%; 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发表于 2020-10-20 00:04:49