医疗人自己才能看懂的冷笑话

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                    <p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">开酒技术哪家强<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></strong></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">护士开红酒，有技术就是任性！</p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><img data-s="300,640" data-type="jpeg" data-ratio="1.1820276497695852" data-w="434" width="auto" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/a1xwNbPmyoq5091Iofk7C50GFdkgiawibibacXJmYuX85tA7v5vAO4dpibLxzOd5yia5bkdwWDDpmdgibjlEXnYFwW6w/640?wxfrom=5&amp;wx_fmt=jpeg" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; width: auto !important; visibility: visible !important;" class=""  /></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">以睡分人</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">据说九点睡是村里人，十点睡是厂里人，十一点睡是校内人，十二点睡是官府人。一点睡是网络人，两点睡是文化人，三点睡是公关人，四点睡是失眠之人，五点睡是广告人，天亮了一宿没睡的是——医护人员！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">真不是小三儿</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">感觉嫁个医生像当了小三，整天问今晚能不能陪我？怎麼又走啊？什么时候回來啊？当他说正忙著呢，匆忙挂断电话时，就像老婆在身边，不好多讲！当他半夜被一个电话叫走后，就像她老婆突然查岗……</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">医学生的悲惨一生</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">“若是这样下去，我可能会按部就班地上班，相亲，结婚，晋职称。住女方的房子，每天在病房耗着，家里什么都顾不了。然后父母老去，我一身是病，小孩子是不是亲生的也不晓得……”</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">守寡人群</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">医生平均每四天值一个班，找了医生就相当于每四年守一年寡；双医家庭就是每年守半年寡；再有手术、加班、停休、出差…就是每三年守两年寡；如果不巧有一个是外科医生，洗洗睡吧，该忙点啥忙点啥，一个人，挺好。</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">一个乳房两个子宫</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">有一次在家休息，发短信问住院总第二天排我干什么手术的麻醉，她回了条短信：你一个乳房两个子宫！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">先干为敬吧</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">前些天和某医学院校长吃饭，敬酒的时候我说我酒精过敏，不能喝，他看了我一眼说，是么？哪儿诊断么，有循证医学根据么，基因突变引起的么？做过基因测序来确定他的多态性么？我仰脖干了……</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">端了院长的老窝</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">本人护士一枚，一次我们医院副院长的母亲得了子宫肌瘤，来我们医院做子宫切除的手术，在子宫全切的一刹那，听妇科主任幽幽的来了一句：“端了院长的老窝”……</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">医院十大常用语</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No1.我笔呢？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No2.这是我笔！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No3.借我笔使使！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No4.谁拿我笔了？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No5.赶紧还我笔！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No6.有笔吗？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No7.没笔！</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No8.我笔怎么又没啦？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No9.这是谁笔？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　No10.……（桌上有只笔 啥都没说直接切了！）</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">　　桌上放个钱包没不了，放支笔闪电消失有木有？</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">剪腋毛</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">一个很凶的外科老师做手术，已经洗好手了，进了屋，觉得刷手衣有点小，胳膊抬着有点费劲，想让实习的护士姑娘给把袖口剪开，就拿胳膊肘指指人姑娘说给我剪了，姑娘惊恐:啊？啊？再次很凶的说给我剪了，姑娘无奈拿过一把剪刀，开始剪老师的腋毛。。。</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">你没有真正的爱过</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">真事～主任给一年轻妹子做胃镜，没麻醉，做完后妹子泪流满面的说：太难受了，我失恋都没流这么多眼泪。主任转过身幽幽的说：那说明你还没有真正爱过。。。</p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(192, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">把裤子脱了！</strong></span></p><p style=""><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"  /></p><p style="line-height: 1.5em;">主刀医生在给病人消毒前，看见病人的衣服裤子还没有脱去，就和身旁的实习医生说，帮我把裤子脱了，只见实习生走到医生背后，解开了他的裤带，顿时，手术室鸦雀无声。。。</p><hr style="white-space: normal;"  /><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span class="bkcolor" style="margin: 0px 8px 0px 0px; padding: 4px 10px; max-width: 100%; border-top-left-radius: 5px; border-top-right-radius: 5px; border-bottom-left-radius: 5px; border-bottom-right-radius: 5px; background-color: rgb(191, 0, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></strong><br  /></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span style="line-height: 2em; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">ID: </span></strong></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">最具人气的医疗器械维修新媒体平台</span></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">分享医疗器械前沿动态、医疗器械维修经验</span>        </span></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">医疗器械维修人自己的交流平台</span></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 11px;">加群主微信 </span></strong><strong><span style="color: rgb(149, 55, 52); font-size: 11px;">shanying916</span></strong><strong><span style="color: rgb(127, 127, 127);"><span style="font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: rgb(149, 55, 52); font-size: 11px;"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">与更多行业从业人员互动交流</span></span></strong><strong style="line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 12px;">            </span></strong></p><p style="white-space: normal; line-height: 1.75em; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 12px;"><img data-s="300,640" data-type="jpeg" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/A1DicCH9Vl6MoypciaNOibiaxmVLk8eA6ibKL14uWjKsZwrWboQYKTfXqPicXycwL1icfia1pAG0VzlTX3MRR4FPV0ZtZA/0" data-ratio="1.0136054421768708" data-w="147"  /></span></strong></p>